Ted Yeakel - Cartoonist

The Everyday Battle of Default Mode

Default Mode is afflicting me right now. This is a topic I really want to write about, and yet, I have no clue how to start it.

As I sit here, staring at a blank screen, trying to figure out a proper opening to unleash my babble, I grab my phone….

I need music….

I just went into Default Mode.

Default Mode is a mediocre pattern of routine to avoid fighting through a situation in regards to things you want to accomplish.

You’re probably thinking, “Well, that’s just procrastination!”.

It’s not.

There is a difference.

I procrastinate on the things I don’t want to do.

My mother made that very clear to me at an early age.

I resort to Default Mode when I’m trying to accomplish something I sincerely want to do, but have no clue how to go about doing it, or internally believe it’s “too hard!”

I get stuck, so for a brief moment I open up the Facebook app on my phone and scroll.

I come across a post from someone posting some random cryptic nonsense, nothing that’s going to improve my life in the least bit, but my Default Mode turns into Detective Mode and suddenly all that matters is finding out what the fuck they’re talking about….l

Like, right now!

Next thing I know 30 minute have passed.

That’s 30 minutes of time that could have been spent trying to accomplish my goals, that were instead spent doing something else.

What bothers me about it is that I wasn’t aware of it until a short while ago.

Today, at least when I shoot into Default Mode, I’m aware of it, and I can work on stopping it from continuing.

Default Mode is essentially dropping into your comfort zone. You’re afraid to do something, or maybe you doubt your ability to do it. Instead of dealing with those emotions and finding a solution, your brain immediately takes you to something it knows you can handle and will keep you from feeling those horrible emotions.

I believe some people are born without a Default Mode. There are just natural “go getters”, who just put their mind to things and make it happen.

I’m not blessed with that ability, so when there is something I want to achieve, I struggle, because that’s not the routine I was brainwashed to do!

I’m supposed to go to work every single day and put my efforts into building the finances of a person I’ve never met.

That’s what I’ve been taught to do, and I do it very well.

So, when the idea popped into my head that I could be that guy, if  just put a little effort in, my brain tries to fight me on it.

“We aren’t at work, therefore we are in Default Mode. Play video games, watch tv, drink this beer, Like that Doug the Pug picture, Tweet about your most recent fart. Fall asleep on the couch and do the same thing again tomorrow.”

Meanwhile, there’s this little voice screaming in my head…

The sound is muffled…..almost like he’s locked in a room.

“HEY! We could be building this website, developing a brand, finding a way to make a living doing the things we care about! Is it really going to kill you to skip that episode of 2 Broke Girls??? Spoiler Alert, they’re still fucking broke!!!”.

He is  absolutely right.

Yet, the rationalism in that voice is constantly disregarded by what’s most convenient for me at any given moment.

Just a few moments ago, I stopped writing this article…….

Seriously, as you’re reading this, I said, “Fuck this shit, I’m out!”.

I thought to myself, “This is stupid, nobody is going to read it, we have a a season finale of The Walking Dead on the DVR and you KNOW the internet is going to spoil it for you! Stop this, go do that, and come back tomorrow when you have something of value you share with the world!”.

And I just stopped, and stared at the screen, thinking that maybe I was right.

Then I heard the slight muffle of that other voice…

Now that I’m aware that Default Mode exists, I chose to ignore the urge of going and doing what was easy.

I told myself to finish this.

It doesn’t matter if anyone ever reads it or not.

I’m finishing this thing, because that’s what I need to do to be closer to accomplishing my goals.

I see so many people every single day working dead end jobs, talking about all the things they’re going to do, but never do, because Default Mode over takes them every single day.

“I told myself last night I was going to wake up and jog, but when the alarm went off, I hit the snooze button!”

“I wanted to eat better, but my wife worked late, I don’t know how to make my own food, so what the hell is one more night of frozen pizza gonna do?”

“I want to get better at doing this thing, but it’s so much easier to feel like I accomplished something in a video game!”

“Some day, I’m going to do this…..”

Being aware of Default Mode doesn’t cure you of the affliction, it just makes you realize that today, you’re going to have to work that much harder to do the things you want to do.

Yesterday, I wrote an article and it was easy…..

Today, I’m writing something and it’s been nothing but a struggle. I don’t even know if anyone will ever read it,  because all my brain wants to do is go and relax. It wants to relax because I spent an entire day doing work to make someone else money. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here, ignoring my potential, ignoring my fire, ignoring my drive to go out there and do the shit I know I can do….

Because doing nothing and feeling bad for myself is easier.

Yesterday, I wrote an article and it was easy.

Today I wrote an article and it was really, really hard.

You might be reading this now, or I might be reading this 2 years from now while scrolling through my archives of unpublished work.

At this moment, I don’t know.

If you are reading this, take a second to listen to that muffled voice inside your head.

It’s hard, because your ego is locking it in, but if you release yourself to it, all of those crazy things you think you can’t do, might not be so crazy after all!

You don’t have to be special to accomplish something, because NOBODY is special.

Be aware of your own Default Mode. It could consist of something I didn’t even think to mention.

You have goals!

Stop being the barrier to achieving them.

vbartilucci asked: In case someone hasn't already asked... I’ll bet the Mjolnir elevator question would be answered by looking at three questions: 1)Was it Thor’s wish to keep the elevator from moving when he set it down? 2)Is the person trying to move the elevator trying to move the hammer, or is he just trying to call the elevator? 3)What does the writer want to happen? One of those may hold more weight in the equation. Not sure which.

brevoortformspring:

The Elevator question is much simpler than that: the Elevator goes up, regardless. That action does not constitute lifting by a living sentient being–it’s rather the action of a mindless machine with enough physical power to move the hammer. The enchantment isn’t about weight, it’s about worthiness–the Elevator does not qualify as “Whosoever”.

Frustration: A Gatekeeper to Success

In my lifetime I’ve become good at a lot of things. I can play the guitar, hand code a website,  make a pizza from scratch, and I can even write, promote, and maintain a blog for years on end. I’ve produced TWO cable access shows AND released a rap demo…..yeah….that happened!

The problem is, while I may be good at these things, I am not a master of any of them. I’m not going to try out for any bands, I’m not going to make millions off of web design, I’m not going to open my own pizzeria, and…..well….I may bring Whiteboystyle back someday…..maybe.

The barrier I have, which my mother and wife have always been more than happy to point out is, I lack follow through. I start things, fall in love with them, get frustrated, quit, and move on to the next thing that I think may fill whatever creative hole I have inside of me.

I’ve always been aware of what my wife and I call, “Temporary OCD”. I’ve started and stopped more things than I can count. When I told her last year that I wanted to start drawing again, she was supportive. When I told her I wanted to do it for a living, she was concerned. While I knew this is what I wanted to pursue, I also knew that I had to overcome whatever mental barrier was inside me causing me to quit so many things that I loved, which happened to include the same thing I wanted to do again, drawing.

I looked deep in my past to all the things that I loved and hated about drawing. It didn’t take long for me to remember why I quit…

It stopped being fun.

That wasn’t because I no longer enjoyed it, it was because back then I was too hard on myself. I was 15 years old, tearing up drawings because they were garbage compared to the guys like Todd McFarlane, Jim Lee, and Rob Liefeld. I had no understanding of patience and no idea how much hard work went into a craft.

I quit because I was frustrated.

That frustration cost me 15 years.

If Frustration were a person, he’d be a real asshole! As I became older and wiser, I realized he was just doing his job. Frustration isn’t the guy who decides who’s got the skills, and who doesn’t. He is merely a test of will. He’s not there to keep a person from their dreams, he’s there for a person to prove that they want it bad enough. Eventually, no matter what you’re trying to accomplish, we all have to face him, and a majority of the time we will lose.

We quit!

We give up!

We aren’t cut out for this!

HE’S DOING HIS JOB!

Separate the weak from the strong!

It’s the ones who refuse to give up, who go home, lick their wounds, come back the next day ready to try again, over and over and over again….those are the ones who succeed!

Those are the people living their dreams. When they fall, you’ll never hear an excuse out of their mouths. They brush themselves off and go back for more. They are the ones who end up happy! They are the ones who got their asses handed to them by frustration, but found a way to come back and overcome him. It may have taken a week, it may have taken a lifetime, but they found a way! While the rest of society is content with that they’re forced to do, the ones who overcome frustration are the ones doing what they’re supposed to do. They don’t have to be millionaires. They’re the ones who wrote when no one was reading, who played their music when no one was listening, who gave everything they had when no one was watching, because they’re the ones worthy enough to climb the ladder.

If Frustration was a person, no matter how big of an asshole he may be, after he’s done kicking someones ass….

He’s secretly hoping they come back tomorrow!

The Enhancement Talent of the Drawing World

“I have worked all winter, I will not fail summer…”

-Childish Gambino - “Freaks and Geeks”

As I’m writing this….right now, I am sitting, ass planted, at the bottom tier of the drawing world. I’m just a guy chasing a dream. I am the Enhancement Talent of the Drawing World….I’m here to lose. Sure, you may see my work here and there, but you have no clue who I am. I’m nobody famous. All I get are a few brief seconds of your day to show my work, work that may have taken hours to produce, and hope in those few seconds I  worked hard enough to maybe make you want to see little more. 

Now, before you start thinking this is some “Woe is me” shit, please know, it’s quite the opposite.

I’m not sitting here at the bottom because I’m a fucking failure. I’m sitting here at the bottom  because I got my ass out of bed, and showed up here. I showed up today to take a good long look around, and small glimpse of what’s above to make a promise to myself. A promise that says, “Today I take the first step!”. While the rest of the world is busy dropping drama on Facebook, consuming seasons of shows on Netflix, and trying to master the “X, X, O, Y, X, A” combo in their new video game, I’m packing up my skills, and climbing this fucking ladder.

You’d think just making that first step would be the hardest part, right? Building up the balls to take a plunge and going after something you really want, but doubt you can ever have. Now that I’m here, I can’t let myself backdown, but…..

It turns out climbing can be really fucking hard at times!

In your head it seems easy! “Oh, Ima do this, this, and this, and BOOM! I’m the man!”. Then, you look back down and see you haven’t even gone that far….and you’re already tired as hell.

It’s that instant gratification disease that we’re all being infected with. The belief that putting effort into something is a joke. Celebrities are made from reality shows, and Youtube videos every single day, if ya just sit around with your thumb in your ass, eventually, you’ll get yours. We use that mentality to give ourselves an excuse to fail. “Well, I bought a guitar, wrote a shitty song about my girlfriend, and no one on Facebook shared it!?! Why even fucking bother??”.

But, I have to climb. I had to prepare myself for those thoughts to pop into my head every day. “No one retweeted my painting, I gained 0 new followers, should I even bother to keep going?”

Luckily, I physically cannot stop. There have been so many days where I just want to stop living in the fantasy world where if everyone puts all they have into something, there will be something better sitting on the other side. I think the reason why I can’t stop living in that fantasy world is because I honestly believe it’s an actual reality of life. I DO believe that if I keep pushing, if keep drawing, sharing, creating, and busting my ass, that maybe next year I can be in a better place.

However, it’s not next year, and as I glimpse above, the climb looks long and hard.

I am the Enhancement Talent of the Drawing World, and I’m writing this with hopes that maybe this time next year I won’t still be sitting here at the bottom.

-Ted Yeakel

Twitter: @edphilly

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tedyeakelart